cock-blocked

Journal entry 24 January, 2007
"I'm 25 and I have two wrinkles. That depresses me. Anyway

My walk to school takes 35 minutes at a rather swift pace. By the time I
get to school I am sweating with all the layers I have on. By the time I
get home, I am rather excited and pooped (literally and figuratively- there
are no bathrooms at school yet. Gotta love that!) Once I see the blue fence
(that same matte cerulean) outside school #6, I know I've reached the
homestretch. All I need to do is round the bend at the "nursing home",> dodge a few mud puddles, straight ahead 3 minutes.

Well, I'm walking back from school on my birthday, a bit stressed because I
have told my host family that I would cook for them as per tradition here.
This will be my first time cooking in a Ukrainian kitchen. They're
different. I'm a little out of practice to say the least. It's been 4
months since I've cooked anything and I wasn't a pro to begin with. It's
really windy and for the past 31 minutes I've been walking into the wind. I
am anxious to get home and plan my lessons for the following day knowing> that the night is going to entail a lot of vodka drinking (it did).

I see my house, but I also see a rogue "piven"- aka: rooster. Never a good
sign! He's black, he's big, and he looks pissed to see me. I too am pissed
to see him. You see, I have a fear of rogue roosters. I immediately stop
because he starts making some noise at me.

'Shit, what do I do now?' I think.
I look around. There's no alternate route to the front door. I notice that
the other chickens have osctercized this guy too. I back away as not to
piss the bird off any more. I'll have to wait it out.

Meanwhile, there is a car uphead parked outside the neighbor's gate. He's
facing me and watching this whole thing go down. I know he's heard that
there is an American in down and there's not doubt in his mind that he is
watching her now. I know he's thinking this girl (me) is crazy.

I getting pissed. This bird is in my way and he's making me look like an
ass in front of this man in the car. 'Who's afraid of a stupid rooster?!' I
think trying to convince myself to proceed. 'I'll just kick him.'
I take a step. The rooster fluffs his feathers and his making noise. Fuck!
How long will I have to wait here. As I wait I think about the old
children's joke about the chicken crossing the road and I begin to curse
that joke to. Why DOESN'T the chicken cross the road! Huh? That's what I
want to know

Finally, the man in the car turns the car on and starts to move. 'Perfect!
I'll time my passing of the rooster with his. That way he'll be between the
bird and myself. If the fucker wants to attack me, he'll have to go around
the car, buying me time.
The plan is a success. I get home 55 minutes after leaving school. As I
open the front door I laugh to myself. 'I've just been cock-blocked on my
birthday!'

Ukraine puts a whole new twist on things.

cock-blocked

Journal entry 24 January, 2007
"I'm 25 and I have two wrinkles. That depresses me. Anyway

My walk to school takes 35 minutes at a rather swift pace. By the time I
get to school I am sweating with all the layers I have on. By the time I
get home, I am rather excited and pooped (literally and figuratively- there
are no bathrooms at school yet. Gotta love that!) Once I see the blue fence
(that same matte cerulean) outside school #6, I know I've reached the
homestretch. All I need to do is round the bend at the "nursing home",> dodge a few mud puddles, straight ahead 3 minutes.

Well, I'm walking back from school on my birthday, a bit stressed because I
have told my host family that I would cook for them as per tradition here.
This will be my first time cooking in a Ukrainian kitchen. They're
different. I'm a little out of practice to say the least. It's been 4
months since I've cooked anything and I wasn't a pro to begin with. It's
really windy and for the past 31 minutes I've been walking into the wind. I
am anxious to get home and plan my lessons for the following day knowing> that the night is going to entail a lot of vodka drinking (it did).

I see my house, but I also see a rogue "piven"- aka: rooster. Never a good
sign! He's black, he's big, and he looks pissed to see me. I too am pissed
to see him. You see, I have a fear of rogue roosters. I immediately stop
because he starts making some noise at me.

'Shit, what do I do now?' I think.
I look around. There's no alternate route to the front door. I notice that
the other chickens have osctercized this guy too. I back away as not to
piss the bird off any more. I'll have to wait it out.

Meanwhile, there is a car uphead parked outside the neighbor's gate. He's
facing me and watching this whole thing go down. I know he's heard that
there is an American in down and there's not doubt in his mind that he is
watching her now. I know he's thinking this girl (me) is crazy.

I getting pissed. This bird is in my way and he's making me look like an
ass in front of this man in the car. 'Who's afraid of a stupid rooster?!' I
think trying to convince myself to proceed. 'I'll just kick him.'
I take a step. The rooster fluffs his feathers and his making noise. Fuck!
How long will I have to wait here. As I wait I think about the old
children's joke about the chicken crossing the road and I begin to curse
that joke to. Why DOESN'T the chicken cross the road! Huh? That's what I
want to know

Finally, the man in the car turns the car on and starts to move. 'Perfect!
I'll time my passing of the rooster with his. That way he'll be between the
bird and myself. If the fucker wants to attack me, he'll have to go around
the car, buying me time.
The plan is a success. I get home 55 minutes after leaving school. As I
open the front door I laugh to myself. 'I've just been cock-blocked on my
birthday!'

Ukraine puts a whole new twist on things.